In the words of Elizabeth Taylor on her wedding night...

OK, its now official. Getting home is going to be extremely painful for all involved.

I just got an e-mail with a tentative plan for getting us home. It involves us going to Qatar, then getting on a flight to Frankfurt at around midnight, flying into Frankfurt in the morning, then getting on a commercial flight to Thieves Row (Heathrow).

Let's look at the problems inherent in this, shall we? The flight from Qatar to Frankfurt will probably be a military charter, meaning that they are more likely as not to break down somewhere. If we fly into Frankfurt on this, we will then have to get 80+ people from the military side to the commercial side, including luggage and weapon crates, which may or may not be easy. Then we have to go through some of the tightest security on the planet, including attractive female Polizei who have a bad tendency to carry lethal looking MP5 machine guns. Not to mention the fact that we have to go through metal detectors and explosive detection devices. I mention the latter because I have been playing with plastic explosives, making demolition charges. The stuff tends to stay on your clothes for a very long time. And then we have to convince the airlines to let all of us on the plane with excess luggage and hope and pray all of our stuff makes it. On the plus side, I know Frankfurt like the back of my hand, so I should be able to entertain myself (although the spoilsports will probably forbid us from drinking). Milka chocolate, anyone? Then we have to fly into Heathrow, that wonderful bastion of saintly behavior. I'd sooner leave a brand-new BMW unlocked, with a full tank of petrol and the keys in the ignition, in downtown Liverpool than try the same stunt at Heathrow. It'd be safer, and I might actually have a car when I got back.

Oh, and that's without the incredible difficulty of getting all of our gear onto a truck, us onto buses, and everyone home.

And don't forget, we're bringing back guns as well. Into a commercial airport. In England.

The logistics boggle the mind.

To put it succinctly (and to give you the ending to the title):

Can I have that again, please??

Myron