Support the Animal Liberation Front!!

Please lend your support (financial, spiritual and physical) to the plight of animals in a war zone. For far too long have the animals been subjected to the capricious whims of both liberators and insurgents. Now is the time to strike back!!!

Already, the ALF has assisted in the escape and refuge of a helpless goat, held hostage by the US Army for unknown and probably nefarious purposes. When questioned by our Special Action Force regarding its time in captivity, our new comrade in the struggle against oppression refused comment, except to say "Naa-aaah". Obviously, the horrors that it has been subjected to has left it fearful and psychologically scarred.

This has to stop!! Animals are people too!!! The ALF is growing in size and momentum, but we need your support. Please send money, food, weapons, tools, veterinarians, and more money to my personal Swiss bank account, where it will sit until it has accrued enough interest for me to live comfortably for the rest of my natural existence. In exchange, I will continue to plan grandiose acts of protest and confrontation, and may even act upon them as long as no physical danger is present.

Think of the animals!!

Myron